Flight 101 - Please Buckle Your Seatbelt

Today I fell in love with independence. I was so homesick this week. Mostly I missed my boyfriend. Which is slightly pathetic and I can't stand how true it is. But, today, for the first day, I was alone and really truly okay with it. And not even okay. I was liberated. I was in the car for hours today. And I hate driving. The thought of getting on a highway terrified me for the full first year I had my license. I would turn an hour drive into a three hour drive refusing to get on the freeway. And I drove the freeway all day today. It was freedom at seventy miles per hour. Being home gives me a safety net anytime and all the time. And I love that about home. It is incredibly safe. I have lived in the same house, in the same room, in the same bed my entire life. I don't do well with change. I think it was surprising, there considered, that I insisted on moving to San Francisco for school. I am pretty sure I have always been brave and just too safe to realize it. At home there is no reason to be daring. Daring is scaring. And I hate being scared. No, I hated being scared. But today I discovered the beauty of fear. Daredevils don't like being afraid. Adrenaline junkies don't like their hearts in their throats. No, fear feels good when it is gone. This week I had to be scared. All the time. And today it was gone. I felt like a badass. I owned that fear, kicked it to the curb and moved right toward where and what I want to be. Ready for the adventure? I think so.